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Overheard 1

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Overheard at the Senior Center: 

"I warned everyone I know that she is a terrible gossip."

"I really miss my memory."

"Can you turn up the TV? I can still hear the domino players!"

"If I could do that, I wouldn't NEED to exercise!"

"They say wisdom comes with age. That fellow yonder is still waiting."

"My hairline has stopped receding from the front, it's now proceeding to the rear."

"No, I'm not losing my hair. I have a Baggie full of it back at the house."

"Line dancing? Heck, I've been lyin' about my dancing for years!"

"My memory is getting so bad sometime I plumb forget to remind my wife to do stuff."

"Her pies aren't nearly as good as they used to be. But, then, they never were."

"I get quite a bit of exercise going to funerals of my friends who exercised a lot."

"And just when is that "Golden Years" stuff supposed to kick in?"

"I said to Essy, why don't you just call me 'automatic,' instead of 'shiftless.'

"You know what I miss? ....ordering a sundae at the drug store soda fountain on Saturday 
  afternoon."

"In order for the rest of us to live past death's actuarial age, half of you guys have to die early."

"Live within my income? Ha! It's all I can do to live within my credit."

"I never take pain killers. Whats the value of hurting if you can't feel it?"

"Thinking makes me tired. I may go take a nap."

"Any time she tells me there's not chance that I'll get around to doing something, there's a pretty
 good chance I'll get right to it."

"We have such reliable volunteers here at the senior center! Why, when one of them doesn't show up, we call the funeral home before we call their cell phone."

"She asked me, 'Gramps, what did you do in preschool?' I told her 'I slopped the hogs.'"
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