A Trip to the Doctor
submitted by Tom Spears
Doctor Jones came into the examination room several minutes after his nurse
had told me that my "119 over 67 blood pressure is excellent." I was there
for my six-month follow-up to the February annual physical. At that time I was
declared an excellent physical specimen, (considering my complaints were
minor and my only medicine is a monthly B-12 shot) except I would probably
feel better if I would lose twenty pounds.
The doctor listened to my heart and my breathing and again declared me in good health,
except I would probably feel better if I would lose twenty pounds.
We talked a couple of minutes about my military career, his hip
replacement, and where I went to college. "I will see you in February for
your annual physical." He said, as he turned to leave the room.
"Doctor," I said, interrupting his departure, "I have a question. Fifteen
years ago, my doctor in New Mexico said that everyone my age should go to a
dermatologist every couple of years and have a full-body inspection to
check for skin cancer. I never did that. Do you think I should?" He lifted
the the front of my tee shirt, said that he saw no contraindication to my
being an excellent physical specimen and he asked, "Have you ever had excessive
exposure to the sun?"
I thought about it and told him that in 1947, when I was 11, my Daddy set
me to plowing full time all summer long, and that I did not have a hat, so I
"Well," He said. "That explains the excessive wrinkling around your neck,
your white hair and large spots of pattern balding, your growing inability
to remember names and dates, your waning libido, the pain in your thumb
joints and knees, your slowing gait, your tendency to leave your right turn
signal on, your not being able to hear higher frequencies and understand
people in a crowd, and the trifocals."
I asked, "All that, because I spent a summer bare headed?"
"No," He replied. "All that, because you were 11 in 1947!"