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Herb: (from across the store) Hi, Mr. Spears.

Me: Afternoon, Herbert

Me: (at the counter) Jo Ann Spears, prescription for synthroid.

Her: Her birthday?

Me: February 7, 1937

Her: Two dollars and ninety-seven cents:

Me: Here's three.

Her: Just a minute. One. Two. Three. Here's your change.

Me: Thanks.

Her: Please sign there, and put a one in the little box.

Now this is where thing got out of hand. Always before the little touch screen only had an X and a line, upon which I always signed my name and a little box on the upper right for me to put the number of prescriptions I was picking. This time there were a bunch of words above the signature line. The words started with "I certify....." Whenever I certify something, I usually read the certification, so help me God.

"I certify that I have received the below listed drugs, that they are for my personal use or for that of individuals I have the right and resp..........etc etc."

Me: I can't sign this until I receive the sack.

Her: I can't give you the sack until you sign that.

Me: It says here that I certify that I have received the sack.

Her: I can't give you the sack until you sign that.

Me: (loudly) Herbert, we have a standoff over here.

Herb: (from across the store) What's the problem over there.

Me; She won't give me the prescription I paid for.

Her: He won't sign the certification!

Herb: You all work it out.

Her: If I put the sack in the middle of the counter, will you sign?

Me: Will you back up and say "There is your sack."?

Her: Yes.

Me: O.K.

Her: There is your sack.

I signed the little touch screen, put a 1 in the little box, picked up my sack.

Me: Thank you.

Her: Thank you for choosing Sheridan Express Pharmacy

Herb: See you next time.

I left, thinking that there is too much government regulation in this world.